Learning to Fly

AttitudeCourageCreativityHappinessLife

I used to think that I could fly. I also slept on the top level of a bunk bed, which–as you can no doubt imagine–was a risky and high-stakes combination. Fortunately, I emerged from this period of my life largely unscathed. In fact, I found that the best time to fly was when I was asleep and could soar anywhere I wanted in my dreams.

I was thinking today that perhaps, though I know that I am unlikely to successfully take to the skies without the assistance of an airplane, hot air balloon, or related contraption, I still yearn to fly. Wouldn’t it be amazing, I find myself musing, to swoop high and low alongside the eagles? To hover quietly beside the hardworking hummingbird, admiring the flowers? To skim over the surface of the ocean and dive in and out of waves, only to return–salty, refreshed, laughing–to the air, out of reach of the tossing water? read more

Walking the Talk

CourageCreativityWriting

I have discovered something about myself. I am extremely good at talking and thinking about writing. Resistance to writing for me too often comes in the form of analysis, which keeps me happily and busily dissecting just why exactly it is that I’m not writing.

God, I find myself saying. Creative work is so hard. If only I could get past this block and just feel free to write and create…think how wonderful that would be! I wonder what’s stopping me. Maybe I need to be more disciplined. Or maybe I need to start a yoga practice. Or maybe it has something to do with my childhood… read more

En route to Writing

CreativityUncategorizedWriting

Boy, it takes a lot to get me to the page. I am often struck by this fact. I hem and I haw; I do the dishes and I clean my room and I take naps. I do my laundry. I rearrange the furniture. Some days, I would probably redecorate an entire house if given the chance rather than pick up my pen. My aversion to starting my writing is just that strong.

However, sometimes I find that if I rush into writing, I am so tense that what I write is stilted and forced. So I guess what I’m saying is that there is something to be said for taking a bit of time to prepare myself mentally for the task for writing, for allowing myself a certain amount of happy puttering around the house before I sit down to write. It feels more gentle than the other approach, in which I force myself into the chair at the same time every day or else reprimand myself for wasting time on other tasks. It’s not as kind, this approach. It leads to desperate, unhappy and resentful writing. read more

Showing Up

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I have been writing pretty much every morning, and I feel like a mess. It’s never good enough. But I want to give myself credit for showing up to the page, because, frankly, my writing will never be good enough in my eyes. I have started to realize that trying to prove myself to myself is a losing battle.

The page always stares me down. The blankness of it. And you know what’s funny? Not having anything to write about often makes me feel like I’m going to die. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. I think I’m a failure and a mess and I am going to die. I start to panic and then I resort to blaming myself. (Really productive, I know.) Why is it always so hard? And why do the stakes seem so, incredibly high? read more

Be Fierce and a Warrior

AttitudeCourageCreativityLifeWriting

The trouble is that I want to write great stories. This is a problem. If I just wanted to write stories, or words, or maybe a few sentences strung together into a paragraph or two or three, then it would not be a problem. Do you see what I mean? The pressure is paralyzing. I sit myself down in the morning with my cup of coffee to do my writing, and I think to myself:

“Okay, then. Time to write a great American short story. You have one hour. GO!”

It doesn’t work. Time and time again, I find that I write: read more

My Friend Discipline

CreativityWriting

Discipline is my friend. I really mean that. My relationship with Discipline has improved somewhat in the last few years, ever since I sat her down and told her what was the what.

For a while, I was in rebellion against discipline. If she suggested something that I should do (for instance that I should eat nutritious food and also exercise and also write daily) I was like “Oh hell, no.” I was like, “I am going to sleep in, and then I’m going to make me some pancakes. And then, I’m going to take a nap.” read more

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