(you guessed it, ladies and gentlemen!)

BOXING!!!

As an earnestly kind, tolerant, and consensus-oriented young woman, I have consistently received feedback that it’s important for me to take my space, speak up, and stand up for myself. Just over a year ago, sensing in myself the desire to be physically stronger, (and having opted into various gym memberships and then never actually gone to work out) I hired a personal trainer and set about lifting weights once per week. Then, last October, I downloaded two dating apps and set about challenging my anxieties and hang-ups in the realm of dating. (Not wasting time, this girl, eh?)

As chance would have it, my conversations with my personal trainer often circled back to my frustrations with dating in the Bay. One day, after being “bread-crumbed” and then ghosted by a guy with whom I felt I had been open, thoughtful, and forthright, I turned to my trainer and said:

“Does this gym have a punching bag??”

And thus began my love affair with boxing.

Now, to be clear, I still believe in kindness, tolerance, and finding common ground. For those of us on the planet who are already practiced and comfortable releasing anger outwards, I would of course recommend a different balancing antidote.

However, especially for all the “good girls” out there—those of us who took to heart the idea that kindness meant never doing or saying anything mean ever—the physical release of energy in boxing and similar activities can be powerful, cathartic, and healing, especially when it comes to emotions like anger, frustration, resentment, or even rage. As I have worked to befriend my own anger and cultivate respect for this emotion in myself, I have found that getting more grounded and present in my body and being physically active is the very best thing I can do to move anger through and out of my system in a healthy and complete way.

I included the Malcolm X quote above, despite the fact that I continue to wrestle with it. I believe in treating everyone with kindness. However, I acknowledge that I have wasted time in the past trying to connect with others who simply did not get, appreciate, or respect me. This quote, similar to boxing, has been good medicine for me, so I have opted to include it here.

I believe that one reason boxing has been such a powerful experience for me is that it quickly addresses my chief underlying imbalance, and forces me to stay present in my body and—quite literally—stand up for myself (lest I get punched in the face.)

Food for Thought:

1. What are the primary themes of the feedback you have received in your life?
2. What is the underlying imbalance this feedback highlights?
3. Is there an activity you could find or a class you could sign up for that would take you into completely foreign territory in a fun and energizing way?
4. Are you brave enough to sign up for a class like this?? (Go for it!)

Meanwhile, I’ll be practicing my jabs, crosses, hooks, and uppercuts. So watch out!