My business coach, Kimberly Errigo (who is amazing, by the way. You can check out her website here), often reminds me to slow down and get really clear on what I am attempting to create before I begin working. As someone who has prided herself on, (No. Scratch that. Defined herself by), her strong work ethic, this slowing down part can feel extremely challenging. (No. Scratch that. It can feel terrifying.) 

The way this has showed up in my life is that I have been way too willing to dive in and work way too hard for way too long without identifying exactly what I am trying to accomplish. And what I now understand is that this isn’t so much “work” as it is me using constant effort, busy-ness, and activity to distract myself from feeling anxious.

Here’s the thing: when I use this approach, I am not actually working—I am coping.

My hunch is that a lot of us spin around in distraction-and-caffeine fueled anxiety tornadoes…and we call it ‘work’. In this month’s post, I want to share the strategy I have started to use to do the real work of creating what I want.

Here are the steps I use to undertake my actual work, and by ‘work’, I don’t just mean effort. I mean effort expended in a thoughtful and strategic way such that it moves me closer to my desired outcome.

Step 1. Identify an outcome that is exciting, motivating, and meaningful.

Step 2. Notice any resistance patterns that come up as you move toward creating your desired outcome, and clarify the root fear that is driving that resistance.

Step 3. Get support around your fear and your resistance patterns and offer yourself compassion. Also recognize that the more exciting and meaningful your intended outcome is, the greater the fear will be as you start to move towards your goal.

Step 4. Move towards your goal step by step. Pace yourself. Check in with trusted allies and mentors as you chart your course.

Step 5. Celebrate your work at every step. Give yourself credit. Rest.

Here’s a Pro Tip: Step 1 can take a while! It takes a lot of courage to slow down and get quiet enough to tune inwards and identify what it is you are deeply wanting to create in your life. Please be gentle with yourself, and give yourself credit for your efforts. There’s no blue ribbon or medal in our culture right now for slowing down and getting really still and quiet. (Or if there is, will you tell me about it?? I want to throw my hat into that ring!)

I also want to mention that these steps owe a great deal to my work with Kimberly Errigo as well as my experience as a participant and also as an intern with Wings Seminars in Portland, Oregon. If you are in the Portland area and are seeking a leadership or effective communication training, check them out! Wings is an amazing organization that does powerful work with great integrity and heart.

With love,

Lucy Claire